anna's song by marvin gaye

you take me on a ride
to a world
that i left behind
it makes me ache
a little
and why is his voice in my head saying sweet nothings?
i wonder if he's thinking about me, maybe right then? or maybe he doesn't.
it was more than just what it seemed in the end.

mazzy star 2

i think i am ready to paint another layer on your song

>fade into you
strange you never knew<

glad, with what i've got i stumble into your darkness. when i close my eyes and step to the window, i can hear the ocean mumble, but there is only city.
the universes that opened up to me, i will never be able to show them to you, to anyone, to whom, i wonder.
it is the utterly subjective and lonely experience of each human becoming in their darkest moments that defines who we are.
the reflections and detections in human encounters, they weave a tapestry of shimmering illusions into our strand of beauty.
but, music, it can venture into the unknown and unsaid and impossible.

time bends under your voice, flections that echo my feelings that originated in your shoe.
every step you took and every breath, - light like a bird i disappear, with nothing but a few reminisce worthy details in my bag.
there is a new morning dawning upon my soul. i hear the birds and feel the fluttering of times wings, riding the dark waves of a night that left us behind.
new faces appear and fade away, again.
there is music, that ebbs in and out, the day we bought our pots and pans.
the love that materialized in little things such as cough medicine or deoderant.
ah, how i loved you.
all the unsaid, i even loved more.
i think you are and were one of the only people i have met, who could let days and weeks pass without saying anything significant without tiring my interest or curiosity or care. it could of went on and on and on and on just like this song.

this will always be with me, i promise, i know, but it is hard to write these words even, since i am already flown so far and so away.

this is a new goodbye, a new hello, to what lies ahead.
maybe i can show him my heart

aaaaaaah

ah, god, what should i do with this energy!!!!!!
i have a huge crush, oh, uh, oh man!
that s why it s called crush because it f§$% crushes you!!!!!!!!
man !
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

yearn

it is night now and work is calling, bob dylan crooning.
i see my reflection
but more so i feel it
reverberating
from within your soul

argh

gosh. there i sit. man. argh.

i m not tired but i ve only slept 3 hours. and what now!>? geez.
wanna dance but i know it d be a bad idea.
who to follow!? the angel or the little devil right there on my left shoulder!?
f§$%&%
stupid pride that forbids me to call.
stupid thirst that makes me want to.

i just talked about that myself. how for some people that kind of encounter is so rare, that it means way more to them than to me, and now i find myself in the flucking same exact position. no straight thinking. just dumb chasing the fleeting dreams and clouds.
argh.

indeed

it is indeed really weird, to actually see it.
a piece of future cut out and catapulted back into the past.
into a dim camper, cold, and your hands on my leaving burning traces.
i turned away
all the bodies you had touched before and the ones you d touch thereafter crept into my mind and muffled my spirit.
it s just you and me now
now
you said
and
true
you were so right

you were the first person i ve ever met
with whom it was practically impossible to envision your future wife or girlfriend
i was not interested in the slightest to ever meet her
nor could i imagine this ever to end

strange how i can look at her face now
and be
okay

him again.

I will talk more about you K.
I will talk more about how paths crossed and spirals elevated life ceaselessly.
How you led me out, leaving Deep into a crispy clear snowy Berlin morning, lifetimes ago, it seems, 2005. The birds were singing, our ears were still tingeling from a long night of electronic waves crashing on board. You held my hand, lightly, the virginity of the streets as we walked down to were I lived. The brunch and the moments of no talk. Your philosophy and take on life. How you breathed the fresh air and how I knew, that I'd be alright, alright without him. That me too, I was to venture into a land full of surprise.
A light kiss only at the metro station. Light footed you disappeared. Little did I know, if ever, or at all, we'd meet any other way. But the spiral took me longer and higher, and I would have never even written fiction about you.

I will write more about Los Angeles' dirty streets later... The insanely expensive keyboard my sister bought and on which Stevie Wonder had played before.
This is all gone right now, but I feel it, all the same, beneath my skin. And I felt it with you. I know you have seen the change. And I appreciate you for that. I do.

Your hands left me in a maze. Amazed. Trying to find my way out through all the new ways and paths that they opened up to me. All the possibilities of which only very few will come to fruition.
But knowing you is such a possibility in itself already.
Punctually you have appeared in my life, quietly opening doors for me, without even knowing it. By just being you and enjoying it.
And even though you don't open up and keep the walls tight with the same smile with which I protect mine I have seen the glance in your eyes and your words that were full of wonder and surprise.
You know that I have the power to push.
And I know that you have the power to inspire.
You know that I can be, after all, very critical of art. And you know that I support you effortlessly.

There you are, boy, in the shades of the morning dawning upon our battlefield of love.
The intertwined blankets and my hair all tangled.
Your arms holding me, all of me, caressing the landscapes and honoring every cell.
Exploding the well.

sam cooke

where do they end
the smoke rings i send
....


i know you knew it.
otherwise you'd never been acting so defensively.
so it's okay i guess
we do things that are irrational
throughout our lives.

everybody around us knew too
they knew
and didn't understand why
you didn't
nobody did
why in the world i stayed
for so long

so who am i to blame anyone!?
i have to look at myself again
and ask myself, why, why
don't you do something that is good for you!?
why don't you
why don't you
why don't you
do
something that is good
for you.
.

1st of June it is

So - the big question: what could be!?
can i be straight and do what i said i would?

he called me his angel
and the answer to his prayers
and while many girls i know would have rolled their eyes at that
i knew it was true
because for me too
there was
magic
and we danced.

i missed the moment of departure
i stayed for a little too long
my elusive fairiness turned into songs
and he said, you love to sing, don't you
and i said
yes

i felt guilt all of the sudden
i felt sorry for him
i felt sorry i couldn't be
the answer to his prayers
nor his angel
but only love
would be
in a fleeting moment