impossible

as i was walking home, swinging, down the beautiful alley way i heard the crickets chirping and some birds crossed the evening kissed sky, alive, with clouds dancing with the warm early summer air.
and i thought... strange days that have found me, who would have thought!? me, living here in this little cute guesthouse, ten minutes from the pacific ocean, palmtrees in the wind and the eucalyptus!!!
but then, all out of the blue-dark sky i felt that the other situation had been way more improbable, almost impossible, to even conceive of.
although i am someone who likes to look at the bright side of life, the good in the bad, the chance in the challenge...i can't really see yet so much jolliness in what we went through, yes, it was extremely pretty our house, but too many overshadowing nights i spent there alone, clinging on to fleeting thoughts how to be or to react when it should have been just easy and peaceful and free.
don't you agree???
it's amazing to think what i did. i mean, just try it. for a moment. for a fracture of a minute out of your night. every day three hours on the street. on my bike, the bus, the feet. getting up at 3 AM out of a relaxing bath to come meet you at Mel's/ Or make you some food. Getting up early the next day. On the road again. And again, and again.
Never going to the beach. Or running. Or to see Dali. Or so.
And then, after the fall, even not one more cup of coffee for the road.
Impossible.