implications

implications
fears
pushed away
shoved away
don't think about it
be sad later
don't deal with it
pretend otherwise

really
what are the implications
honestly?
without fearing to
lose myself in this jungle
of complications

what are the implied negatives
that i try not to assume
that my dreams gather and keep record off
meticulously
lousy cold the weather
and smiles
pass unaccounted for

what is the biggest fear
connected to this
utter rejection
betrayal
denial
gone wrong
done wrong
did wrong
so long?

things about
who I am
and what I mean to somebody
and what I believe, hiddenly, that I deserve
derived from who I consider myself to be
and what I consider to have done

like...it's okay to make grave mistakes
on either side
and hence
we
move on?