disappearing

i am so disappointed now, i can bareley breathe. i try not to, but i feel it rolling in like high tide.
i feel like it washes away the restraints. the last hopes and beliefs. faith. and yes, strings losen and they break apart. porose and rotten.
yeah, there is some sense in there, sometimes. and yet. it's good to have the other perspective. the utter fucking betrayal. yes man, we are human. there are artifacts. the human condition isn't tied to instincts and fucking fate only anymore. maybe in a bigger sense, but in the daily game, there are choices. there is freedom of choice.

i guess that goes only so far as our current conditions allow.
i am watering down my own anger
i am watering down
down
down
down