i cannot write no more
my mind's entangled with love, traces of ghosts all over my soul
linear time system collapsed and i am engulfed in your presence
i know i shouldn't be walking these lines

i look outside the cold, burrowing my hands under the cashmere i wear
i look down my pants and boots and find no sign of familiarity with myself
i look outside the cold and hear them coming and going
music pulsating through the room - not bad - and people smoking
nobody can come close here
i am an island and you are all so distant
he is way closer than you who still live in bodies
he is way more present to me
tears try to find their way through my gorge
i swallow
people die people die, that's life
and people who love each other
desperately
sometimes have to let go

i nod my head and try to flow
try to rid my soul of this knowledge of old
that i had never loved
like that before
and no more.