nobody said it was easy

So the echoes fade out... There was a busy time, of reading and sharing and experimenting with words. Creating. Alluding. Deconstructing. Reconstructing. Purging my heart.

And as I listen to Coldplay sing my mind wanders back, into forbidden rooms, not sure if I´ll find rotten mysteries or treasures of hearts of gold. You leave me in the blue. The layers I have painted over this picture are not very thick yet. You shine through in your earnesty and all your love and depth. I can´t forget how we loved. I can´t forget how I loved and was loved back. I can´t forget the pain and the bliss, it cuts right through all these colors and particles and locks and walls and wells of forgetting.

I reconnect with old friends and new, and we laugh, we share the good times that are all yours. Voluntarily you denied them to yourself and to me and you have those of your own, I very much hope for that. It will still come back and haunt me, in moments like these, running in circles, nobody said it was easy.... oh it´s such a shame for us to part. nobody said, it was easy.... no one ever said it would be so hard... I am going back to the stars....

I love you, you see. And as much as I try to look into the future and as much as I enjoy my now and my here, I can´t deny that there was so much and still is residing in my heart.

I really am on the other side now. Bridges are burnt and my past.