beauty of the space

ahhhhh!
back!!!!!!!

the inner space. considering how many paths there are in this world that proclaim the acquisition of said inner space it is quite excusable that I still depend on outer circumstances to maintain this space, to a large extend at least. I am just a Human Becoming, you know!!!!

So even in Berlin when I was sharing this tiny room with my roommate from Sibiria I was better off: I had my own space, my walls with my pictures and photos and my table and my closet you know! The last five months I had none of that. None. Everything was my sister's. Even the camper couldn't be my space because she is so picky about her stuff. there is nothing wrong with that, Lord, no, but that's how it was. I kept telling myself, if you travelled, you wouldn't have your 'own' space either. But that was WRONG! because when you are on the road you DO have your own space: the sky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the road! the minutes alone. nobody to bother you. yeah. thats it!!!!

Two weeks ago I moved into my friend's apartment. She can't be here for a month and so I can stay in her apartment. Yeah, this too, isn't really my room but I am alone there. I can cook, I can have my photos and stuff however I want it. I can play guitar whenever I want it, I can cry when I am sad I can moan when I make love I can laugh loud when I feel like it and listen to the music I like and there is no TV nonstop going and no akward feelings that I did yet something else wrong or didn't live up to the many expectations from the people around me. I can be with my love and not feel bad about it. I can live.

so I was walking the streets the other day and hey, suddenly I had these ideas for art installations. for projects. the old me. Always something up in my mind!!! I felt like I FUNCTION again!!!
I've missed that Piranha so much! Man it s fucking crazy!!! It's SO amazing and scary too, how much I seem to need this outer private space in order to open up this space inside of me that feeds of the creative energy and feeds in turn my identity. It's plainly gorgeous and insanly awesome to be back to this state of being.

I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!

and now, lets get something done!