what i am missing is: self discipline. i learned to listen to my body so well, that sometimes i let him dictate my doings. that's real bad news to me. I realized that early today in the morning and there needs something to be done about it. I realize I have a similar lack of discipline emotionally. I so have to learn how to hold back and not just react upon my extreme emotions. There needs to be some kind of rule. Like no calling or writing before at least one day has passed after the outbreak of an emotional volcano in my soul. or such as, I can only do something after I wrote a song or painted a picture or wrote a poem about it. At least that will keep my creativity going.
I am so tired of being in-efficient and slow.

Slow is good, but only if it is your real pace and not some freaking physically dictated illusion.

On a different note: I would like to go to Cuba. I would like to be in love like I was with the pirate prince. Okay, okay, I admit, today I did feel like I wanted to be with him even. But gee. That's the whole point of the post, right, that I want to learn how to regulate these kinds of feelings.

So....later alligators!

Emeralda needs to become Piranha again for a while