German Blues

I discovered by chance a really cute bar with lots of guitars everywhere on the wall and the ceiling (BUT WTF, why are they there and not in use....tztzt) and a note saying that on saturday night would be a blues band playing there. Of course I thought this to be one of those funny coincidences that happen to me all the time when I follow my inner voice because I LOVE BLUES!!"!!! I also thought that this was one more gift of life which obviously makes fun of me because I want David so desperately but it turned out to be...ahm....read on! -.

Okay, lets say it frankly and right away in the beginning to take all unnecessary tension away: It was a joke. Thank you life, I still love you. Nevermind....

The band: they sat in a way that they formed a triangle: the leadsinger/guitar player was the tallest as he was sitting on a bar stool. the bassist: sat, as he was so tall that he would have been taller than the leadsinger (what a shame!). the percussionist: she was sitting at the left. the pianist: she was sitting at the right. wonderful, this harmonious constellation don'T you think...

The band: all of them white. yeah, i am white too and I think and I insist on the fact that white people can play the blues as beautifully as our coloured brothers and sisters. oh, but it hurted to see them. i explain in a minute. so, the band all white and you know, fuck prejudices!!! people can look really whack and crap and still be cool and amazing, right! I mean, if the bassist looks like a teenager with tons of pimpels on his face, so be it! I am the last one to judge bodies, you know. I have enough issues with my own... yeah. and if the percussionist looks like a retard it doesn't mean she is a bad percussionist right, and if the singer seems to have a problem with anouncing the 's', so what! so what.

The music: IS THAT BLUES??????? I HAVE TO GO HOME IMMEDIATELY AND CHECK MY BLUES CDS JUST TO MAKE SURE I AM NOT FUCKED!!!!!

first I thought it is because they played way too fast. but then I decided that there is no rule as to how fast you may or may not play. fuck, no, it s about whether or not you FEEL the blues. dammit.

the bandleader was actually using scores at times and text and still he fucked the text up at times. WHO GIVES A FUCK ANYWAYS? nobody would even REALIZE you fuck it up if you just go on and invent sth. but no, you looked like a little boy who performs his instrument and stumbles each time he makes a mistake. if you are in a flow that doesn'T happen.

The bandleader: whenever he played a guitar solo I could see the masseters at his jaw totally clenched. yeah. relax bro! there was not a SINGLE tune or note that sounded like a SURPRISE as you hear it so often in blues. you know, listening to great blues players I often had the impression that at times a single note surprised themselves as well, and they were cherishing and loving this note which made the blues. Okay, so he covered it. He had a blues cover band. But hell, if you cover you can still put sth of your OWN in there, right? You love blues and always dreamed of playing it, too? Thats not enough!!!! You ve got to FEEL the blues when you play it. There was not depth to it. it was flat like Ally Mc Beals belly.

The percussionist: OMG. She moved in a way that reminded me strongly of a musicschool project in which untalented people are given the chance of experiencing music despite their inability. She kept the rythm, yes, but all mechanically and her enthusiasm was so German (yes I felt very very sorry for the Germans who actually fit into the stereotypes in this moment) that I couldn't stand looking at her. My friend said to defend her: maybe she just jumped in and usually doesn't play with them. But oh, she did. She is part of that fucked up band that claims to play the blues. BAH!#

The bassist: as I said before, looked like a teenager marked by acne. Poor guy. His smile was so....you know when you play air guitar in your room while listening to your favorite band and suddenly catch your reflection in a mirror? Huh, horrific, hm? Yeah one of those moments you know... I think he saw me as I was sitting quite in the front and whenever he felt I was looking at him he put a little more effort in his playing nodding his head, instead only of his feet. *throws up*

The pianist: was the only one who played music. honestly. you could see there was a connection between her enthusiasm and love for music and actual skills. I guess thats what it about. You need this connection. I don't blame those guys and girls for not being good musicians but it was a pain to listen to them. In a bar. Uh. They should perform at home for their parents and grandparents or so.

It was very very very sad to see this German blues coverband who basically raped all the songs I faintly recognized to be songs I actually used to listen to with great pleasure...

But my friend and I had a hilarious time nevertheless because it was so sad that it was actually funny already. They really looked like caricatures and it was so horrible. In the moment we decided to leave a guy asked: do you like the music?

I think our leaving was answer enough.

Oh, the audience: a bunch of middle aged people who look like they couldn't really let go of the rocker inside themselves. You don't see this kind of creatures in the streets normally and really wonder where they hide all the time. Great opportunity for character studies for drawing by the way...