here is an email i just wrote and for some reason i felt like throwing it out into the blogosphere....my good friend fell in love with a guy from Australia and yeah, she thinks she knows what I feel now. I don't think this is possible but as a mere matter of fact I have to acknowledge that there wouldn'T be so many sad gorgeous love songs and movies and artwork and wars and stuff if people weren't able to feel the same....heehee.
so here we go:
arim, i am off the weekend to attend the birthday of my grandfather. i come back wednesday or so and then i have to move into your room. is that okay with you (hehe)? i think it s the best opportunity anyways to see each other finally.
i hope that is allright
oh yeah and don t expect the feeling to vanish soon. i was out yesterday night (by mere coincidence and when i finally decided to go dancing it was so late i couldn t possibly call you) after work with T. who goes through a bad patch right now with her relationship and we got slightly drunk. the first time since a veeeeery long time for me. and i decided it s whack to drink and go to sleep so i went to a club i have never been to before. it s called icon. there was funky and hiphop music...and i danced all and ONLY for myself this night. it was crazy cool and felt like at one of those great deep parties. i was totally free. and of course, this kind of energy draws people to me like moths to light but i was cool. anyways. the whole time when i danced i had this warm feeling of love for david inside of me. THE WHOLE TIME. i loved him so much and danced with him in my imagination.
woha, i love him i guess. i think i do. i don t know whether i d love him if i knew him better but right now i still do.
i am happy and sorry for you that it happened to you with Jif. You will not see him again probably, will you? but it s good to know that there are special people out there, right, beside all boyfriends. life goes on Arim and it s good it does. there is no need to cling to things of the past out of fear for future.
i hope you are well. lets meet either tonight or tomorrow night after my working.
piranha
4 comments:
"I love life...Yeah, I'm sad, but at the same time, I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like...It makes me feel alive, you know. It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt something really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feeling is like a beautiful sadness."
"Butters" Stoch
wow, thank you!
it s so amazing because i just talked to a guy after this party for about two hours or so about love and life and I said approximately the very same words!!!!
i said i am happy i live through this right now and that it is not a rushing fluctuating fickle feeling as one could expect it to be in such a fastforward time we live in. because it is beautiful love sickness....
thanks amadeo!
Dear Piranha (I hope you pronounce it the Portuguese way --"Pee-ran-ya"):
It sounds like you are sorting out not only your possible love but also where you'll live in the near future. That's gotta produce some worry and uncertainty! So don't worry about him (David?); just go to LA and see where your life goes.
BTW#1 I like your blob name "I don't fake" -- a declaration rich in meaning!
BTW#2 I see in your self-description that bi is one of many options you have. Terrific!
Hugs, J
Oh, shit -- LOVELY Freudian (no, it's not!) slip, Justine..."bloG name," fer chrissakes!
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