multitasking and why i can't wait to be 30 years old

Instead of worrying and growing myself grey hair about such indecent a problem like mine right now i decided to stick with what we are supposedly bestest at: multitasking.
Yes, it is a drag when you don't fall in love with one definite person but hey, don't fucking complain about having to choose and having too many guys who are actually all very good looking, interesting and gorgeous who want to date you....you know what i mean? you don't do that. there are too many singles out there who would wish for that sort a predicament....

Now that is how it goes:
one for holding hands, letting things grow in the silence we enjoy together, feeling so much like it is no coincidence that we met ...
one for having deep conversations with, energetizing conversations and hugs and to play/jam guitar with
one for being unhappy and tragically in love and flirting on a very intellectual challenging level...
one for feeling physical chemistry happening, a sensual and tender and loving person
one to try to get me
one to make love to. or practice so.

that is multitasking at its best.
when number one, two and three AND four happen to be in the same spot at the same time it becomes difficult though. Discrecy which is the most important thing here to maintain is almost impossible then.

- I disappeared to the 'restroom' and never came back -

*laughs*

oh world...thats fucked up

and i love it
and it confuses me
and i seriously don't know what i want to do
yeah, these are the months, maybe years of confusion
and this is exactly why i can't wait until i am 30...
fuck early twenties. fuck them

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by the way, something wonderful to share with you guys out there: my teenage love who went down the drain with drugs, got schizophrenic and shit, is totallky clean now! he became vegan, even doesn't smoke cigarettes no more and basically meditates like 4 hours a day and woha, sounds like a holy person to me.....i guess, people have to go from one extreme to the other in order to balance things out.
but i am so incredibly happy for him. i hope it lasts
i ve prayed for Pedro so many nights and i have shed to many tears and written so many letters, poems and songs. for him. he is always in my heart and always subject of my secret wishes i can make when i blow out my birthday candles or other occasions like that.