secret victory. victoria secrets?

oh, thats just a wordplay. the victory was secret but overwhelming.
the battlefield: inside myself.
what, tell me, what is sweeter than a victory that your antagonist doesn't know about? you let them belief that they won but they just didn't realize that the battle was fought somewhere else and on a different level and that you just, ahm, yeah, you fucking WON! you fucked their intentions! ah, sweet sweet making love to fucking intentions fuck fuck! hahaha.
you hear that laughter? the laughter of a nasty, SCHADENFROH, beast. the laughter of a relieved and relaxed worrier. not warrior, worrier, you read right. the laughter of the winner who was widely believed not to be capable of winning at all. beyond reason. that is ME.

the victory?

I DID NOT LET HER MANIPULATE ME ANYMORE. simple as that. i went through the raven valley of depression, of self doubts and hatred, of feeling like a loser and loosing control over my inner balance and insight. of everything. and then i came back, in the rain, and confronted you, a little sugar and you talked, no news really, but the good news was: despite what you said, you didn't bring me down anymore. that is gone.

oh, and in case you read that: you think wrong. i don't hate you. i love you more than you will ever know but there are things you will never understand and there is matter of factly not the need for you to do so. you will go on and I will go on but both we have to stay sisters and maybe one day we will realize that blood does or doesn't create bonds beyond petty hick hacks and blame games.

ah, well, how do we say in German 'once the reputation is spoiled you can do whatever you want'.

I care. I do. But not like it is stated in your fixed universe. so fuck me or fuck you, I won't fight back like you maybe want me to.

the best weapon is the unexpected one. the best weapon is to fight yourself. and when you win this fight nobody can harm you
anymore