HE and YOU

...is tall but not too tall
wears felt trousers and a skater pullover
has a ring in his nose. a beautiful one.
wears boots because he thought it might get cold and indeed it did.
likes to say nothing but has a lot to say.
sat all alone in bar25 and enjoyed it.
talked to me until the sun rose.
is very considerate, generous, relaxt and teasing.
is older than I am.
i love the colour of his skin. it is kissed by the sun.
is independent and very strong.
daring and insightful.
has a big heart. and did I say his smile is wicked? it is gorgeous, that is.

looked at me when we wlaked down to the bank as if saying: well. yeah. I know. You know. That was awesome and strange. What is it that one does with that kind of a night? Any ties? No ties. What does she think anyways? What is it that she wants? Any expectations?

maybe it was also a look of expectation. like, maybe...maybe... or better not, she doesn't seem to be like THAT kind of girl.... (aaargh! )

I cry because he reminds me of YOU. YOU, who I haven't met yet. Who might be him just as well. YOU, who I want to love unconditionally. whom i starve for being recognized by. it hurts badly. we had such a beautiful conversation and all I managed to do in the end is to slip a poem I wrote into his pullover. No making out, nothing, although I was feeling like it that night... I wanted so badly to be wanted by him. But without any help by me. Just like that. And all I found was deep respect and relaxedness. Too bad he knows exactly as good as I do that things happen and don't happen and that everything of importance eventually will happen. Too bad that I didn't dare to be more daring and more straight forward. He would have appreciated it too, I am sure.

I cry because I am dying to hear your voice and feel your touch. it feels like a missed chance... man, where are you????