as so often I felt that ....
I am scared....
I said too much
I said tooo much......
I realized that I was running away. I had some sort of run-away crisis... I was running away from things I didn't want to face, I knew what I had to do, I should just have started marching against all odds, as far as I would have gotten with that, after all.....
Heya! you can do it!
forget about firday and
saturday! forget about
all! forget about the
future forgive them all
okay
lmao* oh man that's so funny. I just found those lines when cleaning my room and I think its just remarkable how these patterns keep haunting us. well, at least me! I have those moments and then I go on....
lol.
well anyways.
maybe a bit more interesting was following feeling I once caught when I was having one of my cup of coffees in one of those crazy cool cafes:
'I sometimes feel like an innocent child
which is apalled by the very thought of having sex
there is nothing exciting about it
when I think about it
I am innocent
and pure
and I would like to stay that way'
as I have talked quite a lot about sex in this blog I think I should clarify some things here: I am not a praying mantis or something of this kind. I am an explorer of the sexual universe but this is just a part of my moon. There ARE conflicting desires inside myself which kind of take turns according to my various moods and situations.....and i still think that sex, when reflected upon very intellectually, is quite absurd. But, as my sister uses to say: we have a day and a night brain, and once my night brain is turned on I can relate to it perfectly! It's just something that you rather do than talk about.
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