reading love

well, I CAN READ ABOUT LOVE IN BOOKS AND SONGS
i don't need you to send me text messages that tell me that you love me
i don't need you to tell me on the phone all the time that you love me
i don't need any of that
i need to fucking spend time with the guy i love

it's not like i want you all the time (well thats a lie, but i can deal with not being with you all the time. matter of fact it is good because you don't like being around people as much as i do and as much as i need to) but once we are together i want to have TIME to BE.

dear bloggers, dear bloggerinas, it s a fucking drag. time and space. i know, that when you feel love deep deep inside, i mean, when it exceeds mere lust and attraction and infatuation, it feels like it is beyond space and time. but.
BUT. i always knew that there is somewhere out there love for me. love like that.
those were sweet longing days and nights with me looking out there into the space, looking at stars, at the moon, at sunrises and sunsets and i felt that somewhere out there, there was someone who was waiting and longing as much as i do to meet up, finally.

well, let me tell you, it is worse, when you found somebody where you wonder whether he maybe is that person (i won't get into the discussion whether or not there is only one such person for us) but can't spend time with him.
you know concretely that he is there, you can reach out and touch him, and be with him, love him
but in the same time you can't because time and space don't allow it, or he fucking can't make priorities and take off a few days to spend time with his love.

that sucks really. it s like seeing this cake through the shopping window. you can smell it, you can taste a little teaser but you can't have it.


FUCK