talking to his cousin

For some reason he doesn't want me to meet his cousins, which, however, obviously take a lot of time that I could spend with him away from me.
So today after a gorgeous new years weekend with my family in Big Bear, snowboarding for the first time (in man made snow, geeeez) and all that, I called him to ...ahm, fuck, I can call hiim whenever i want, can I? without a reason, right? fuckers! ;-)

he doesn't pick up. so i try a few times later again and suddenly I receive following text message. and i replied and this is the whole story...while writing the text messages I sometimes thought, fuck, he would hate it if he knew i do that!!! but then i thought, fuck it, i play with the cards i have and i have the fucking right to do that. because i love him. so here we go!

Text message 1: 'hey this is dans cousin B. I have his phone, he's fuckin passed out u r his german friend?' (fuck, I am half German, please!)
me: 'Yep. so after all he managed 2 knock himself out 4 new years...tztz. is he allr8 though? He B thanks for writing I'd have been really worried otherwise...'
B:'It wasn't 4 new years, he went to the house in lake e. where he lived as a kid. that dumb pussy always tries 2 drink his problems away or get high.' (what the fuck, why would he tell me sth like that? loyality? worries?)
me:'He isn't a fucking dumb pussy and I'm positive that u ve ur very own freaking problems and ways 2 deal with them that i don't want 2 know about B. Take care of him OK?' (i was really pissed off at this guy to call D a dumb pussy and say all that. fuck him! I mean, I KNOW that they both were into worse shit than that...)
B:'Of course I will, I would die for him, he s closer than a brother 2 me. I just hate 2 see him this way I HATE IT!'
me:'well it s apparently too easy to get into bullshit habits like that together but then to get out u can do it only by yourself. Always. I hate it too, but I know he ll be allright'
B:'I know he always is. lol. don't know how he does it its funny. So u like his girlfriend?' (yeah, curiosity, humanities engine...)
me: 'I meant he s gonna be allright concerning his problems and how to deal with'em. - he has a girlfriend?' (*smirk*)
B:'No, are YOU like his girlfriend or something?'
me:'Haha. I don't know ask him. lol. but yes, I love him too, probably not the same way like u but he is what u and i have in common sort of. So, i hope u can share. lol' (you fucking asshole, i mean...and yes i sucked his dick lately when you wrote hiim this text msgs whether he'd gotten his dick sucked or why he is so late' fucker! leave me alone )
B:'I guess I can lol....just take care of him when i m gone. he s physically and mentally tough but fuckin fragile emotionally'
me:' well i know, so when you are gone u think he actually can hang out with me and get himself emotionally fixed? - joke -U know what? we are all stronger than we like to believe!!!'
B:'Very true we are. I m leaving in a week I think. And wanna know a secret? He'll kill me if I told u but even when he s with us he talks about wanting 2 be with u!' (woah. wow. thank you. he tells me that ALL the freakin time when i call him. do you think i like to hear more about that crap???)
me:' well but he ISN't , right? so i give a fuck. big time. It's not like i don't want you guys to hang out but its also not like I ll be here 4ever. U know. thats all. walk your effing talk!'
- but it s also a mistake to talk to you about that he'd kill us both. lol. It ll be allright. and whatever happens, it s life and we better face it before it stabs us from behind! (that was my bad conscience talking)
B:'Amen sister! Lol shit i hope he has unlimited texts!' (that, of course was the sign to stop but i didn't care) (and fuck, yeah, I am aware of the fact that i always write and talk too much. shit.)
me:'He does, I don't. lol. but i don't care r8 now. it feels good 2 talk 2 s.o who loves him too. And who knows him. Wanna make Dany a favor? delete all our Msgs. He ll be so upset...' (or don't. and see how he reacts. but wait, I want to see how he reacts!)
- and B., when u hate it so much 2 c him lk that. fuck tolerance! we've 2 get out by ourselves, but it helps when people show us they hate 2 c us lk that. - don't u think?' (he wouldn't have fucking drank when he'd been with me. got it???)
B:'Absolutely. I agree. But dany has always been hardheaded. I swear he has never listened 2 anybody since he s been on his own'
me:'I can imagine :-) well i guess the stubborn people have 2 feel then...- I love him anyways and if necessary I'd burn this fucking car and his music 2 make a point. I would.' ( I would also beat you up asshole.) (okay okay he is not an asshole. Dany loves him actually a lot. so okay. whateva. you love him? thats great. but that doesn't mean i am not mad at the fact that Dany feels like he has to hang out with you rather than staying with me)
B:'Whoa not the car! it was tough 'buying' it 4 him lol!'
me:' Eff off, do u think I care just a bit? Karma is when it comes around. lol. whateva. I guess u know how i meant it. enjoy ur time with D and tell him to call me assap OK?'
B:'OK i ll tell him when he wakes up. Have fun and happy new year'
me:'Nice to 'meet' u finally bugsy hehe if he only knew.... take care in 2006. And love
And just for the record, I always enjoy life (which of course doesn't necessarily mean fun...) :-) i hope you 2.' (well i do. actually. B. seems nice. and after all me being mad and so on for obvious reasons I still would like to meet those dubious cousins. because i love people. interesting people. and i want to know all the parts that make Dany's life.)

Dany, by the way, asked me lately, when I said I am fucking sick of hearing 'i love you' on the phone, what he then in my opinion should do. kneel down and propose to me?

woha. ha! first, grow up a little bit, please. and gee, how about just being here with me, i mean, a proposal would be kinda cool but it would be sufficient to just spend a little more time with me and prioritize a litte bit more. in my favor of course. lol.

but then again, my wife is right: i should relax and take a chill pill. he has to work, be with his family just as i have to be with mine and he really loves me. and sees me whenever HE can. (aaaargh, that makes me mad again!)