loops

disclaimer: YES I am jerking off on this page. big time. no claims for valuable writing. not now.

Loops. lollipop. sob.
Don't we just have to abandon that what hurts most? Get rid of the pain that hinders us to unfold our beautiful beings? Get rid. Hm. I can't believe it. It is the same yet different. A lonely night, just, now, with cigarettes. Damn yeah. I am still myself. i am still going somewhere

and there in the cold somewhere are you. biting your nails and struggling in some way or the other. A glove on the street. A weird mindset. And I remember faintly how I cried and stayed up until early in a different time, in a different place but yet the same. A person you love too much, a person too far away, some sweet memories and a broken longing heart. It is so ridiculous how we loop through our lives.

so was that what I was looking for? Riding wild and reckless along my way what I chose to be my way, and in the end it wasn't up to me at all. Like this little girl that I once was, that didn't know where the breaks were. I wrecked the bike. And then I hid it in the bushes and ran. ran, like the wind.

it makes me sad