Already long ago I've realized that I am not a child of the so called 'fun' generation. The expression 'have fun' is casual and you can hear it from me too but in reality i think that's crap. I don't mind hardship, I don't mind difficult times, injuries or tears if you just live your life fully and courageous, - well, if I really think about it I think I am a real sucker for BEAUTY. If you try to make things BEAUTIFUL it is always worth the effort. Even tragic events can be beautiful in a way, you know? Tears can be beautiful. life can be beautiful. Fun goes by, beauty is carved into the soul like hyroglyphs into stone. Beauty is the food for the soul, not the fastfood, the good old fashioned slow food.
Beauty in the sense of 'DONE WITH LOVE'. Anything you do with love is beautiful. Subway for example. They have pretty decent food, if you compare it to Mac D, I mean for a poor student like me that's like the better option. But I feel tempted each and single time I buy a sandwich there to ask them whether they maybe could make the sandwich with love for me. You know? When your Mom cooks and she loves you and she loves cooking for you it is a whole different story, right?
So subway sandwiches are really not beautiful if you think about it.
Monday night I made love for the first time in my whole life. I am 23 years old and you might be surprised or even pityful for me, that this was suppposedly the first time, but I tell you, it is never to late for that. I made love, many times, to my boyfriend, but this time it was like man, REAL LOVE. You know? It was a trip. It was a blast. It was REALLY REALLY BEAUTIFUL.
Finally, finally, after all these days of worrying and being sad and missing him he came to visit me for three long days that we lived most of the time in seclusion in the apartment I have right now, listening to the raindrops falling, looking at the leaves blinking in the sun and playing guitar together, listening to music, cooking, watching movies and finally, finally talking.
This guy is such a precious stone and his soul is so beautiful. Like they say, the eyes are the window to the soul and his eyes are incredibly beautiful. The way they look you know?
God, I am so much in love now, all over again, I can't help it. It is such a beautiful thing. LOVE.
And he managed to say all these beautiful things that he had jokingly reversed earlier which had turned me as a result very insecure. But now I felt he was being serious about it. He treated me finally as the princess and queen I am, the goddess of love and he touched my soul with his magic fingers. He showed appreciation for my music, which in turn made me open up even more to him, he told me how good a cook I am (my dad would relly laugh hearing that), how beautiful I am and all that good stuff :))
we had some arguments and we came to conclusions and we made GOOD FOOD. and love
Gott sei gedankt
No comments:
Post a Comment