...but i still gonna want you even when i am big!

Yesterday evening I witnessed one incredible moment that gave me a little glimpse into the mystery of the love between a mother and her kid...

we lay on the bed and were going to watch a movie when finally, finally his mommy came back.
'did you get enough love today?' she asked
'nooooo'
she kuddeled him, kissed his face all over and over again, asking him every now and then whether he had now enough love for this day but he couldn't get enough so they eventually just curled up next to me on the bed and kuddeled.
'what, what are you crying?'
i looked away from the movie and saw this little guy, this little five year old kid dissolve in tears snuggeling up in his mam's arms.
she asked him for the reason and suddenly he just sobbed: 'i am still gonna want you even when i am big!'...
he kept asking again and again, whether she would die if he was his daddy's age. 'i am not going to die anywhen soon, darling' she said...'but you are so big and i am so little, you are going to die sooner than i am and i don't want you, i still gonna want you even when i am big!!!!' she looked at me. 'piranha, isn't this just one worthwhile reason to have kids?'....true, sis, true.....
'mam, can't we die together?' he sobbed 'i really don't want you to die without me, i love you so much...'

dear bloggers and whoever happens to read this post, i was myself moved to tears. this little boy had for some reason realized that his mommy would be going to die one day. the mystery of death, death concerning only the world but not the home had evaporated in a hot late summer day in L.A. and a little person learned about the fatality of living....

'i wish' he sobbed inbetween tears ' i wish i was a baby and wouldn't understand about dying' he cried and his mommy hugged him very very tightly and said that she wouldn't be dying, that she would do her best to become 120 and that they could die together then.....they actually made a 'pinky-pact' that they both would try not to die prematurely, in an accident or something like that (like running on the street like he does....;-)......) but she couldn't stop his desperate tears....
finally she started counting down for him all the years she supposedly still has to live and said that he would be an old tattery man with a long beard and bold head by this time...thats when he finally started giggeling and calming down...

this whole little crisis was so heartmoving...it was so innocent so genuine and so full of love, it revealed both the realization of life and a bigger world outthere and the incredible depths and powers of the love a son can feel for his mommy....

and i hate this little fucker sometimes because he is so lazy and freaking annoying! and, jesus, isn't he just one adorable little kid????????