...that after having thought through it yet another time I should definitely say that it is actually everything that is not white that I am fairly attracted to. It already gets better in south europe....I dig the southern mentality just way more than the rest of europe....in Italy, for example, I felt really comfortable, because nobody would complain about me talking too loud or making too many weird moves with my hands and whole body.....;-)
May it be for the sake of difference, the other that is beckoning and alluring, but I don't really think so. I've always been deeply interested and emotionally involved with native american issues, african issues, maori, aborigines.... yes I was even into the asian tribes for a while, although I don't really have an access to that right now anymore....
and i have shed a lot of bitter and desperate tears when recalling what my people did.
in my case it is even specifically close as my Grandfather from my Dad's side was a convinced Nazi....but as we all know it all reaches back so much further....
I just realized all that right now because a guy from the pony tribe (i don't know whether or not i spelled that right) who lived way back in the black hills, dakota, gave my niece such a special gift to show his respect and love to her that she and I started crying. She is half native (south american) and obviously my older sister shares in my reversed racism. Matter of fact, she was horrified when she got pregnant from her new husband and was endlessly happy that this little white guy became sucha fluffy smiley person. I guess that all sounds quite stupid right now, i have to apologize, as I said before, I am sick and not all with myself right now.....
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