One thing I have realized pretty soon in my young life, is that I am a social maverick/loner. I love and need company and to entertain or listen to people but that doesn't change anything about me being a maverick.
I think I started wondering about that in class when i was about 11 or 12 years old. I remember standing in the doorway, observing the four 'hot chicas' of my class giggeling and chatting at the window. Standing there I realized that although I would love to be like them there was no way I couldn't. It's just not my thing.
Going together to downtown is another example. It's not that I didn't want to, but I couldn't STAND going shopping with lots of girls because they seem to assume automatically that once we are out together we have to stick together like glue. However, as decision making is so difficult with lots of girls you wound up discussing first for hours before something happens...
not with me!
I love:
-going to cinema, alone. No problem with that.
-going to a club/bar alone. I don't need you to hold my hand while dancing! in a bar it can happen that I feel lonely being alone, but generally i enjoy just sitting there, watching people and actuall i have to admit that i always find people to talk to and have fun with.....
-walk through streets, alone. I love that. It s sort of a self-finding process ;-), I sometimes just walk away from a bulk of my friends when I feel I am not doing what I want to do and just walk somewhere...and usually I find what i Need on the way...like the saxophon player under the bridge the other night, who happened to have a flute and we started jaming.....wow.....beauty everywhere
-hang out with a homeless and jam with him on his guitar rather than hanging out with a group of people/friends when they just want to get drunk and talk nonesense
the list could go on.
yesterday night (well the night that just has passed) I slept in my school in one of the practice labs. on the floor, with my scarf as a blanket and no, i do have friends close by I could have slept at but I didn't want to.....ahhh, what a good sleep I had. I found myself, however, calling desperately friends in Germany (successless, fuck timedifferences!)....the maverick needed some social contact.....of the sort i can't have here in fucking LA
Sean, by the way, is the same way. which makes him interesting in the first place, and difficult to grasp, in the second place.
god bless the queen. ahm, save?
1 comment:
I can dig the maverick. kinda like being a crew all by your lonely. and still have the ability to vibe at moments notice. cool trait. but the P is free. Jammin' with the dude under the bridge sounds very cool
LA must be fun. one place I'ld love to go to with their car culture and what not. P you gotta post some pics yeah, show us what your eyes see of LA :)
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