if you knew...

man, i fell fucking asleep.
DAMN! in my skirt that i just bought (and i basically just buy new stuff when i fall in love by the way), lights on, no teeth brushed (yuck)
strange dreams, some included sexy mother f*&%^#$ Adrien Brody, King Kong digestion...
and i fell fucking awwwwww, ASLEEP! in the middle of reading something.
DAMN!
i was awake before actually but didn't bother to look around. and now i do, check my f*&#^$%@ cell phone and FUCK you called me like 8 times.
i jump out of the bed, from 0 to 180 and call back, awww, fuck, man, ohhhh no, why didn't i hear that?
then i check the time. 4 AM. You called at 2:34 AM. fuck fuck fuck! maybe you were here in front of my house and i didn't come. why didn't you check here? it was open....you know my sister isn't here. you should've checked. hm. but maybe, you are still outside, sleeping in your car? i run outside, barefeet, excited and frustrated like hell, awww awww aww, thats what i can think only.
there is your car. ah! relief sort of. fuck, 4 AM! oh man!
i see condense water on the windows, somebody's in there,. yeai.
i knock on the door, some voice is mumbeling 'WHAT?'
'it s me, it s me, - Dany'
my voice, you know fellas, couldn't have been more full of tenderness and love in this moment. you could literally see it drop down from my words.
the guy opens, i think in the same millisecond, wow, somebody blew his rearwindow and then i realize it s not you.
oh fuck
oh, oho, i am sorry! i ahem, i , mixed you up, SORRY! i stutter and the guy is 'oh thats allright sweetie'
and in panic i run down the street checking whether you are somewhere, maybe in the camper (nope) and finally i walk back.
cold concrete under my bare feet.
wet cold gras.
suddenly i start grinning and smiling. oh damn. if you only knew what i am going through.
DAMN.
i guess you just called because i begged you to call me before you go to sleep after you d be done with the strip club

but then again, you never know. i wished it so much that you'd come instead of hanging out with your cousin just because ('just'') he turned 18...........somewhat explains my overreaction just now....