the clouds blushed and i think it was my fault

it was different today
unlike the last time when I felt that way.
back then the way I felt was very lyrical, very smooth, very romantic and very very blurred in a way, I almost felt like leaking out into the atmosphere with my whole soul.... like a lotus flower opening up to the first sunrays....

but today it was different.
I drove my bike and looked euphorically into the narrow skylane that the framing houses formed in the soft evening air. small little clouds blushed in pink colours and I smiled at the thought because I really believed that they exactly knew what I was imagining right in that moment and that their blushing was reallly my fault...

my thoughts danced around the warm frenzy that your voice had left in my veins. circeling around you like a junkies thoughts would circle around his drug. baring in mind the finity of the emotion, but flirting with the idea that like the tide the waves would come and go and come. and come again. so the go would be bareable, would be tolerable, would be affordable if we only could buy that idea for good, transform it into a certainty to which we could cling to like a drowning person to a floating tree or firm rock in the water before the great falls....

I went through all we said, repeated it word for word, with a cheering in my heart and a rapturous expression in my face...ahhhh so good. so so good.

Making love to you, I know that is what makes it so sweet and delicious and juicy and painful to think of you. The very thought that adding 'of course it is not all about sex' when talking about deep feelings to express that it is much more than 'JUST' that, appears rediculous when referred to you darling. Of course it is not all about sex, sure not, but it is about the damn quality of it, dear whoever you are! I don't think that our imagination suffices to paint the same painting as reality maybe will one day, but it is by no means a matter of course that imagination can be that explicit and that fierce when thinking of someone.

You are not someone and after having heard your voice my imagination went astray. On my bike I started daydreaming, I stared at the floating riversky above me, felt the wind blowing right through me, cleaning my soul... And all of the sudden I felt an almost ineffable twitching and orgiastic flush permeating my body, almost driving me insane, sending armies of goose bumps to every spot of my body, no matter how remote, -

and it was because I thought of you. of making love to you.

it is that bad.

the clouds blushed and the car next to me honked angrily at me. the driver obviously cursed the hell out of me, winding the window down and yelling: do you have bats in the belfry?