Mr. Asshole Vol. # 2 - a training night

good morning good morning!!!!

so guess what happened!!!!!!

I did it!!!!! I claim tha award for strong women. 1. Place.

okay. Mr. Asshole calls around 10 PM. I explain him that I am in a bad mood, pissed off, all that. Am just about to write another sad post for my blog... But I am genuinly happy to hear his voice and that he called... How are you. -
-Okay. I just came back from Milano. - I am in a bad mood too.
-Great! So lets celebrate it! It s always better to be in a bad mood together isn't it.
- Guess what, I just talked to Xtina (his best friend) she is in a bad mood too. She said that there is a White Snake concert soon. We should all go there and reunite...
-Yeah. (I had to pay this concert back in retrospect although it was originally a present of his... I know it s been 3 years and no, I am not mad or anything. I tend to forget the bad very quickly thats why I have to remind myself here of it....every now and then!)
-Do you know a good watering hole
-No. I only know P.berg, K.berg is a district I don't know very well. I just moved there

We agree to meet somewhere in K.berg in about 45 minutes. He says that he will wait 30 min and then leave. I believe him. Mr Asshole will do that. He s always been a fucking macho like that.

I am very happy. I can't believe that I am happy like that. I am fucked up. It must be like that.

Luckily I have some dresses with me because I just did my laundry. I am at my old college. My friend M. has to play the judge and advice me on what to wear. Fucked up. I look great though. Great. Lets go.

He calls. Can you give me another 15 min? - Sure, I ll be late too! - Yeah, hell, thats Berlin, people can be late here - Indeed. - i ll be there 100% (oh fuck, don't say that. whenever you said 100 % you didn't manage. It s like a bad spell)

It s me who waits. 20 min. I don't care really, I always have stuff with me to do. I have my full painting/drawing equipment with me. I don' t know it yet, but it will be of good, very good use later. And my juggling balls. I practice some tricks. People walk by. Some idiots act as if I were a prostitute. *sigh*. Wearing a mini skirt and without being in the company of a guy makes you a slut. Madre Maria....

Finally you arrive. In a taxi. With a beer bottle. Without enough change. I pay the last 5 euros for the taxi. We head to a bar. Heavy music, just as you like it.

Hell, how are you darling? - I am okay now. I was really pissed off. - So what happened - Ah you know....this guy.

I tell him the David-story. He laughs at me. Says that this is Berlin. I shouldn'T fall in love in Berlin. Hell, if you told him that if you guys meet but no touching,- of course he doesn't get back to you!

Just because YOU are an asshole it doesn'T mean that everybody else needs to be an asshole, right?

Ah.

He tells me about his miscellaneous affairs with big boobed actresses on coke at airports. He s got a girlfriend and a cute 7 month year old baby boy whom he loves more than anything else. I feel very sorry for his girlfriend but I don'T care about his sexual escapades. Thats Mr. Asshole and I am lucky that I never was one of his sexual escapades but someone he would like to call his 'friend'. I explained him several times that time will show whether or not he can say that we are friends but that pisses him off. He needs to have everything he wants to have and that immediately. I can relate to that. I am impatient, too.

you look great by the way. aaahhh, these fine legs. i can'T believe it. Piranha grew into a woman really. you are very sexy, you know that.

he touches my legs and strokes them. Ah! fuck. I didn'T shave. On purpose. To prevent myself from doing things I don'T want to. hahaha. here we go.
He talks about how he will lay the bartender tonight. So you are not the old Mr. Asshole no more? A grown up business man of 37 years? Is there really no playboy Mr. Asshole no more?
Yeah. Sure. Go tell it to the mountains!!!

The bartender or should I say tendress is kinda fat and ugly. I don't know what to think now. If he thinks that I am sexy and she too. Hm. I am mean. Sorry. Ah it s her cleavage. Okay, that explains everything. omg

I smoke. Usually I don'T but tonight it fits. I puff actually because I can'T inhale that smoke no more. I am being very tough. Obviously he tries to take me along on the way to getting drunk but I know where to stop. He pays. I laugh a lot and I enjoy his attempts to flirt with me. It s so good when your heart is suffering to have an ex boyfriend try to flirt with you. It s like chocolate for breakfast or something like that. A cool shower after a hot summer day.

-So what is wrong with you and Kathrin.
-She is too rich. She is from a very wealthy family in Italy. It was all too quickly. She got pregnant after two months. We had sex like only six times. But she is a great mom, and a beautiful person you know. Colin Farrell really likes her (did you hear that 'bling'? He dropped a name like a coin. It s all about who you know, you know. Man, I am so lucky to have famous relatives. It makes me all a better person you know. Yeah. Mr Asshole. I give a fuck about names and you know that. Oh, you do too? Sure. But go on....) I am not saying she is a bitch or anything. She is great, it just doesn'T work really between us. We are about to break up. We have too much money you know. It s fucked up in a way, it doesn'T make you happier you know.

I know. If you have too much money let me paint something for you and pay me more than the 100 Euros you said you were ready to pay. If you sniff coke you can pay me more than that. Fuck you Mr. Asshole- Don'T do coke. This explains why you are so incoherent at times in what you say. Your attitude. I don't like coke.

I don'T want to go home. I really don'T want to see her. or what do you think should i do.
Go home and fix that. Thats my opinion.
I rather think i go and take a hotel room. Maybe I call Manuela (that big boob coke actress from this german soap opera. oh man. it s such a big deal to fuck german soap opera actresses. great accomplishment)

He continues to flirt with me and I flirt back. We kind of enjoy playing with the fire. We are aware of the fact that our relationship has always been totally weird and odd. But we like it. I can handle his fuckedupness and recently I thought maybe I continue to keep in touch with him or people like him because it gives me a weird sense of success and greatness that I am able to handle characters and crazy situations that usually come along with them so well. Like some sort of weird affirmation of myself. I mean, it could be, couldn'T it! Oh, madre maria, Piranha. The true motivations behind your decisions, deeds, feelings, who will ever decipher them????

We come up with the idea to cuddle. If he is my big brother, as we claimed our relation to be as soon as I broke up with him, I can cuddle with him because I do that with my real brother too. I stroke his face. I still love you Bo. - He sighs. - Thank you for saying that. - I smile. -
I say that I am okay with the idea to get a hotelroom for both of us. It s a great challenge to say we just cuddle. I want to practicen for the day I meet David. I ve got to stick to what I say and not let anything happen. I don'T really want to be so strong but I guess it s all for the better.

Oh yes, lets take a hotelroom with a hot bath tub and champaign and stuff. and we just sit there naked and see how desire overwhelms us but don'T do anything about it.

hahahaha! sure! come on bo. hahahaha. your imagination is running wild. lets just cuddle

okay, but all nude okay.

i don'T know whether this will work, to be honest. I ll wear my underwear.

hm.

He orders a hotel room and we leave the gaybar we ended up in. I know I look sexy and I know I am cool. Without coke.

Don't play so tough Piranha. You are like your mom. She hates me.

Come on, Mr. Asshole, my mom doesn'T hate anybody. She is just very cool

She told me that you made a bet that I wouldn'T come to your exhibition.

Yes I know. I won.

She hates me. All your siblings hate me.

Come on, Bo, it s been three years now. They give a fuck. They trust me. I forgive things. I am loyal you know that.

Your mom is one strong beautiful woman! You are just like her. Thats the Alaskan side. She looks like a native.

She isn'T. Her parents are from Switzerland.

I know, but she looks like.

We take a taxi and as usual he jokes with the taxidriver although he doesn'T speak a word of English. Madre mia, Mr. Asshole, did you really change?? At the hotel the same. I have to explain evrything. Finally we are in that room. It feels so weird. I told him that I would advice him to go home but that I still would be up for the hotel. So thats why we are here. Weird.

Can I paint you? All nude?

Hm

He doesnt't believe me. But I, calm like the sea, unpack my painting equipment. He undresses, goes to bed. One beautiful body. (He was the first to whom I dedicated India.Arie's song 'Brown Skin...you know I love your brown skin...') I start painting. He is totally puzzled.

Come on, come to bed now too... It s not fair when you are all dressed and I am not.

No, you promised me I can paint you

I thought you were joking

No, I ll paint now. Shut up. I don't often have the opportunity to have such a beautiful male model undress for me. Just keep that position, aaahhhh, thats good.

I paint. My hands fly over the paper, the light is perfect, his skin so smooth. I love it. Just for the fairness of it I take my shirt off. I wear my beautiful Rome wondabra. :) He gasps.

What did I miss. Oh my god. Come here to me!

No, shut up! I ll paint you first. There is no way you can stop me from doing that

*sigh*. (then he smiles) you really know how to get the respect you need and deserve. you are one beautiful woman.

I followed your advice

I know. (that makes him proud, of course. haha. we woman always have to give the feeling that it s all your accomplishment. but it s always been like that. in reality we are the cause but we enjoy silently)

I paint and keep painting even in bed. He is a bit drunk and tired. Finally I start cuddling, after having put him in his place many times while I was painting. But this guy doesn'T know what it means to cuddle. As soon as it crosses the line to creating sexual energy, you have to withdraw and start all over again. Thats the game and it is a great game to play. But he is very bad at it. I have to teach him. I enjoy touching his skin but I have to watch out that he doesn't steal a kiss from me. No kissing. Oh, of course, you can kiss my skin but not on the mouth, claro!? Whether I can hug your little friend too? hahahaha. Oh my god, Mr. Asshole, thats not part of the game. Okay, yes, I can hold it. I ve seen you like that before. You were the first one who taught me how to give blowjobs or 'mouth hugs' how humanity critic says. But I am not going to do that now. Not anymore. But I can hold it, thats okay. You sigh. You have a very hard time. Poor you. hahaha. I am happy I didn't take my panties off as well. If you d check you d find me all wet. Of course. I mean, I have a physical body too. I am also just a woman. But I can keep control over it. I did that many many years. I am curious to see whether I still can do it. Or better, whether I can still NOT do it. although my body wants to.

The moment when you stroked and cuddled my back and my belly and my breasts was very sensual and very dangerous. The light was very warm and I knew you were at the verge of loosing your control. We were firefighters that night. Training night. When you fell asleep you snored. You didn't really change.

- In the morning, around 8 AM Kathrin called you. We got up quickly and took a taxi to get home. You were very glad I stopped you (or, as you said, that you stopped me from touching you too much hahahahaha) and that we didn'T go further. Of course not, Mr. ASshole, if Piranha says we are going to cuddle we are going to do that and nothing more. I told you before, that if you want to have hot wild porn sex you should call Manuela. If you want to be a good guy you should go home and fix the relationship with Kathrin. And if you want to cuddle stay with me.
You were really surprised that Kathrin worried about you. I told you she loves you. You love her too.You were on coke together? Well, and now she probably wants you to stop that. Woman.... I bet she is a strong woman....Try to get your act together. You have a kid. He means the world to you. You don'T want to lose him.

When you said good bye you said 'thanks for being such a good girl'

Oh, yeah. If you only knew....

But I am happy I was so strong. It s so cool. I ll get the award, I am sure. Show me the woman who can do that! :)) And no, I have no regrets or bad conscience or anything. I am not going to have affairs with guys who are in a realtionship but our relationship is so odd that it is okay to do things like that. And we are only 'friends' because I am like that. Because I don't care whether or not your name is Mr. Asshole.