drum'n bass. medecine that your doctor would never prescribe you...

they say: go out, do something, look at other men, just something that makes you think of something else.

deluding my mind?

come on! ARE YOU CRAZY? it s not that i enjoy indulging in my wacky emotions. nope. wrong. just like amadeo said in one of his comments here a sedative for the soul would be nice if we could throw some water on it for the good moments. but nah, first of all there is no way you can detract yourself from such strong an emotion by simply looking at other guys. it s actually pretty much the same when you experience something horrifying: you may be detracted from the terrible images burned onto your brain but it will eventually always flash back. thats how it is and no sedatives. i am willing to go through it. all i do is just bathed in love for you, i really feel it with my whole body, just like the sun schmoozes your body in hot summer days i am bathed in that love. it hurts at times. but it is real. because it is there. it must be there then. right? it s better to be deluded by emotions after all, than by sedatives or other destractions

and secondly: there is no way other men are attractive anymore. it s funny and i guess it s just part of the whole hormonal cocktail that is set going right now for the dear sake of procreation. come on, ladies and gentlemen, in the end we are here to reproduce, are we! the hormons kind of shut any channels which usually signal me: piranha, look, there is an attractive potentiality walking by. ha! it s gone. gone gone gone.( oh of course i hope desperately that there is more than procreation to it. sure. i bet we all do.)

now the good part of such a narrowing of your own emotional perception: go dance and you ll love it. without any drugs of any sort. (included alc)

your doctor might not know this, but your broken, longing, yearning heart will not stop repeating HIS name like an old LP with a crack, no, but it will feel some relaxing comfort in going to a DRUM n BASS party where you shake your ass off in all these odd ways you ve never dreamt of before just BECAUSE YOU REALLY GIVE A FUCK what others think about that. as simple as that. of course there is all the talking going that we don't care and we dance because we like it and it s all for ourselves and blablabla stuff. yeah. but truly FEELING and dancing this way is actually a whole lotta different story. and hey, just break your heart a little bit and it will work! set your mind on fire with love for a special person and you will do it. those greedy looks of dirty men, shake it off with a smile, with a freakin move of your butt and you will feel ahhhh thats like in the good old times when dancing really used to be a substitute for sex, love or massages. it s like giving them the finger just by dancing ONLY and exclusively for YOURSELF. it probably looks like showing off more than ever, but indeed it s your attitude that counts, right?

ah! drum n bass yes yes yo! directly imported from LONDON. (big shout out"!)

(mentioning london: my opinion to sad and horrifying events like those who just happened in the city probably needs an own post but just to say sth shortly about my being silent about it over the last days: i don't read news no more and only followed the incidents by reports of friends and some readings in the net. i personally think that the 'evil' energy behind that wins as soon as we give in and let these things take our joy away. I ve always thought, that although I cried a lot and suffered thinking of all the fuckedupness in this world, the injustice, pain, suffering, destruction, etc we have to make a stand and DO something ACTIVELY that could be seen as a counterweight to horrible things like the london terror attacks. that is: PRODUCE positive, joyful, loving energy, provoke smiles, open hearts up, lean to other people, communicate, love, dance......and I can only say that this above mentioned medicine not only served to heal my heart a little but also to counterweigh what i felt is an evil energy that is only waiting to take my whole mind over. no depression here. tears, compassion, anger, yes. but i ll be the master of them emotions...)

piranha