damn that feels - empty.
i feel like after a long run but instead of the good feeling you get out of physical activity I just feel a little disgusted by all these emotions I went thru.
man, i wish piranha wasn't that emotional after all....
i can never become a lawyer if i don' t find a way how to deal with that. :(
the only good thing is that i seem to be capable - after all - to wake up with a smile on my face no matter what. so I wrap my body in my blue scarf and start painting.
the other only good thing about such emotional turmoil is that creativity rarely is blocked for long by it. in the beginning, yes, when you are totally invovled. but then, after a long sleep, you wake up and you can transform this energy by creative output. i did that back in february when i was so heartbroken because of J. and the result was a two-week intense working on an installation i called 'heart-massage' and which was a great success. and it was in a way shocking to see how this intense work of only two weeks helped to transform the pain in such a short amount of time. it felt great and relieving, but it was shocking as i kinda expected to be hearbroken for a very long time.
and this is why i put as a second title 'regenerative potential of hearts' because - hey, did I just metion I was heart BROKEN, back then??? so how many times can a hear break?
i just figured, that although it ruins the drama aspect of what I went thru, that my heart possesses marvellous potentials of regeneration which help me to go on. and I dare to say that they emerge whenever I transform emotions into artwork of any kind. - be it a song, a painting, an installation, a poem, and huh, maybe a post...:) maybe thats why we are writing after all........
6 comments:
Piranha. I hate to say it but emptiness and depression usually lead to the greatest works of art. I know it's not fun to feel the way you do but try and take advantage of your state and record as much as you can.
I know times have been hard for you lately Piranha. I read your letter to David. Hang in there.
Unfortunately, People are fascinated by pain, moreso than happiness. It's in our nature.
just come off a long run and feel regenerated. problem is where does one channel this pent up energy?
I feel your point. when i'm in some emotional turmoil I operate at my best. my mind goes into overdrive. Like I'm trying to work it all out of my system.
boy that conscious porn link looks off the hooky. an earthy connoisseur investigating right now lol.
take care yeah
Got your kind email...doing as you requested & am leaving a comment and a link to my blog. :) I enjoyed your post...paint, paint, paint the pain away. It's no coincidence that the word "paint" also has the word "pain." Interesting.
Hermes is a damn fool, depression has only led me to some of my most embarassing attempts at expression.
Good idea, paint. Let your feeling flow onto the canvas and set yourself free. Once you've let go of everything you'll feel open to more good things.
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