freak freak

I just realized that I am a freak freak.

What is a freak freak?

• Someone who is not specialized in anything. Usually freaks are people who are freak in something special. A freak freak is specialized in being a freak which is an oxymoron, because it is as bad as being an egg without any contents inside. you get what I mean.
• Someone who nevertheless sticks out of the mass for some reason. But people can't exactly put the finger on what makes you a freak. They try to put you in boxes and label you and explain why you are sticking out of the mass and what it is and balbalbalba, but they find themselves at a loss doing so.
• Someone who is pissed of not being a freak in a certain area of his/her many interests but nevertheless never manages to become a freak in that area. Matter of fact, you cannot be a specialzed freak in all of the following: Dancing (well, dancing, yeah, but not in all of the different possible directions: tango, salsa, modern, jazz, expressive, afro, contact impro,...), Sports (oh yes you can be a freak of sports but not of all those good things: basketball, running, rock climbing, martial arts (capoeira, taek won do, kung fu, tai chi, ken do...), swimming, acrobatics, hiking, inlineskating, biking, street climbing, ...), Music (Oh yes, you can be a freak of music but not of all the wonderful instruments: singing, guitar, flute, piano, accordeon, drums,... bands, solo projects, djaying...), Art (oy yes you can be a freak here too! but not a freak in all of this: graffiti, painting, installation art, performance, happenings, theater, sculpturing, sewing, design, writing, directing, filming, etc), Sciences (yeah again: biology, maths, economics, blablabla, sociology, ethnology, international relations and so on), Social Issues/Politics/being an activist (that is, keeping yourself update in all the DETAILS ALWAYS on any of those issues, discussing, writing, getting into action, planning, doing projects, living your life for that...), envionmental issues (being active, making a REAL difference, committing your life to a certain task in this field, living your life totally according to your principles derived by your increased awareness of environmental issues that is...) law (ewwwww. I want to become a lawyer! But everybody I know who wants to become a lawyer too, is already now a FREAK! They know so much about law, have done internships in lawoffices, are complete NERDS and ready to do all the hard studying!!! The only person I know who is as much an artist and complete chaot as I am is Jane from Belorussia and she also wants to become a lawyer only because she wants to work for Amnesty International and save the world. haha)
  
  
  okay, I spare you the rest of the list. it goes on and on and all that I listed lies actually in my interest and I wish I was a freak in any of them but I am not. I had 'freaky' periods in my life in which I endulged in one of the abovementioned things, for example I had a rock climbing, a dancing and a basketball period (and all the other things too at some point) but unfortunately I never became a freak in any of them and thats why I am a jack of many but master of none

It sucks big time in a way but today I thought, hey, whateva! That means I am a freak freak! A human human person. I get things done by means of contact with people. I am a freak freak , an oxymoron and instead of any contents I am filled with my love and joy for life. (those, like coins, have a back side and therefore capable of transforming themselves into melancholy, sadness, and anger. but whateva.)

piranha.

freak freak that is.